what the fuck?

I knew when he left that he wasn’t going to be back when he said he was going to…

but what the fuck??  Four fucking days?  Really?

No phone call, no nothing.


I don’t know what to fucking do.

I have remained calm since Monday but now I am starting to freak out.


how do you file a missing persons report


a little late.

welllll, I just found out that the St. Patrick’s Day Celebration in downtown, was yesterday. 

I am very upset by the fact that I did not know it was and I think that it is freaking retarded that it isn’t on the 17th.

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Ran out of gas today on the freeway, but I had 1/20th of a gallon left in a gas can and surprisingly it took my car 2 more miles to my house… cars probably stuck here now though

March = Shit

March is supposed to be a good month, I mean its close to the beginning of the year, so its like a new slate still (not technically speaking but…),you got St. Patrick’s day and uhm well, National Women’s day (not really that cool of a day, but I’m just trying to make march sound better lol).  Well my march started out with me taking a loan out on my life insurance policy… a $1,450.00 loan.  I was supposed to use it for a car…  wellll, my bf is a platinum member at the casino so he gets 2 nights free a month and normally I would not take my ATM card with but we needed it for the deposit on the room.  Well since I had my card with me I was able to take out money, which I did…. all of it.  I didn’t win shit.  My dude said that we could make back the money in two days, which normally we can. 

Then on the 2nd at about Midnight, my landlord came by and brought a 3day pay or quit and a 30 day notice (little does he know, I know the law and he is supposed to send one in the mail as well. 

my brakes on my car went out COMPLETELY… still driving it though, WTF is wrong with me?

oh and sooo much more, I cant really think of it tho..

oh my dude is just being a fucking asshole, like a few weeks ago, we were talking about leaving S.D. and he said lets go to Iowa, I have a friend that lives there so we can stay there till we get on our feet.

I asked him if it was just his friend and he said no its him his wife and aunt… but he didn’t really know the other two, just him. 

a few days after that he tells me that he used to ship dope out there and I asked to who and he told mehis friends aunt. I said oh so you do know her.

yesterday I look on my boyfriends fb and I see this one chick who I saw in my boyfriends old phone before like right before we started dating and this chick had sent a picture of her boobs to my dude(and let me just say, this bitch is shot the fuck out, like so tweekery and it looks like she has no teeth and almost like the faces of meth ad.  Well anyways, I go on this shot out bitches and what do you know, she lives in Anita, Iowa. haha, oh why doi always have to catch him fucking lying to me?  Well, before I was sooo down to move to Iowa but uhm, FUCK THAT.  Wth was he trying to pull?

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Are you fucking serious?

The only reason that I want to go through your phone is because there is a fucking password on it.  I had no desire or urge to go through his phone prior to the passcode…. but now that there is one, what is he trying to hide?  The most retarded part of the whole thing is that his phone isn’t even in service so he can’t call or text anyone….

So I chucked it out the window.

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I’ve seen Oxycontin take three lives
I grew up with them, we used to chief dimes
I’ve seen cocaine bring out the demons inside
Cheatin’ and lyin’
Friendship cease, no peace in the mind
Stealin’ and takin’ anything to fix the pieces inside
Broken, hopeless, headed nowhere
Only motivation for what the dealer’s supplying
That rush, that drug, that dope
Those pills, that crumb, that roach
Thinkin’ I would never do that, not that drug
And growing up nobody ever does
Until you’re stuck, lookin’ in the mirror like I can’t believe what I’ve become
Swore I was goin’ to be someone
And growing up everyone always does
We sell our dreams and our potential
To escape through that buzz
Just keep me up, keep me up
Hollywood here we come


Well, it looks like I fucked up again.

So fucking stupid…
I spent the fucking rent money on
I don’t even know what.
Now, three weeks later
my payment still is not in
I keep lying to the landlord…
Tomorrow, tomorrow.
Well I think that today is the last tomorrow.
I told him by 12.
Well actually I said 10,
But what I meant was 11,
And hopefully, it will be in no later than 12.

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